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May 19, 2021

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Father, Your Portal to Success in the World

Sometimes, we have difficulties finding our place in the world. We graduate from school, get jobs, and open businesses, but we are still not succeeding. Why is this? One possible cause is our relationship with our father.

Our father embodies the masculine energy which flows down to him and through him from all his male ancestors. The sacred masculine energy is external and is connected with actualizing, forming something new, and bringing it into the physical reality. The male energy has a creative force necessary to manifest everything we want in life.

We all have male and female energy flowing through us. We receive the female energy from our mother, who receives it from her female ancestors. The male energy we receive from our father. When we lack balance in the male energy, we face great difficulties in life, such as making decisions appropriately, setting goals and achieving them, developing a healthy boundary, and finding personal and professional fulfillment.

How can we develop and strengthen the male energy in our lives? By cultivating a healthy relationship with our father. Our relationship with our father is the secret sauce for outside success because dad is the portal to the world. If we only take in the mother’s energy, we feel lonely and isolated. The father’s energy is essential to materialize our goals and manifest our dreams.

When we take both parents to our hearts, just as they are, we achieve an inner balance between female and male energies and polarities. Life can flow easier now when we feel balanced inside, as within so without. As the female energy is about holding, like a mother holds the child in the womb, the male energy is about releasing and letting go. The father, carrying the male energy from all his ancestors, passes down his strength to his child and then releases the child into life. Father is the one who propels us to life, away from home.

Bert Hellinger

We all came from parents, and our parents were the right ones for us. If our parents had been different from who they were, we would also be different people. We can only be at peace with ourselves when we take mom and dad into our hearts. When we reject one or both parents, we reject ourselves because we are half mom and half dad. Our inner peace comes from taking our parents as they are, without judgment or criticism.

“I now look into my childhood and at everything that I lived through, that which was heavy and that which was beautiful. I acknowledge everything that happened, just as happened. Precisely because it happened that way, I could grow. What I rejected did not help me to grow. I can only grow from that which I acknowledge and give my consent.”

Bert Hellinger

How can we achieve fulfillment and success?

Fulfillment and success are the outcome of inner peace, which is only possible if we are at peace with our parents. When we focus on what we believe to be wrong with our parents and reject them, we become entangled with both mom and dad, and therefore we are no longer free to live our lives. We can see this entanglement when we unconsciously imitate them and go through the same difficulties they did.

What is the solution? To take both parents to our hearts just as they are! When we take our mother into our heart, we reach an inner state of wealth; then, by taking our father in, we manifest this wealth through successful enterprises in the world. Both parents are equally important, and our relationship with them will determine the balance of masculine and feminine energy within us.

A good exercise is to develop an inner attitude of total gratitude for our parents because they gave us the greatest gift of all, life itself.

How was your relationship with your father growing up? Do you see him differently today? What qualities do you love in your dad?

Imagine your father is standing in front of you. Tell him the following healing sentences, “Dad, thank you for everything you did for me. You gave me life and this was enough,” “Dad, when I love you I am also loving myself,” “Dad, I love you.”

How do you feel after doing this exercise? Are you moving towards your dad or away from him?

If you felt the need to pull back from your father or felt negative feelings toward him, you might benefit from exploring what is happening in your relationship with your dad. Taking in your father could be that missing link to great success and fulfillment in your life.

Adriana Romero, Ph.D

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Family Constellations is a transgenerational approach that explores the individual’s place within their family system. When a family system is balanced, the forces of love and belonging can flow freely, embracing and supporting every member.